Hard to put into words how you feel..

It's hard to put in to words how you feel sometimes. Right now I feel as though my insides are made of Velcro and fuzzy stuff, my whole body feels so strange. I keep feeling quite out of it and when I look and move my hands it feels so bizarre. My head just pounds ALL the time as though there's a little man with a drum kit in there! The sickness swirls over me and it's so difficult - I know I HAVE to drink as the stomach meds make you so dehydrated but with every mouthful it makes me retch. Food was okay but I'm starting to feel less and less hungry and it's becoming more of a task - you shouldn't have to feel that eating and drinking is a chore. This is sooo much worse than last time I had these meds two weeks ago.
On Monday night I had horrific stomach pains, right up the top. It felt as though someone was stabbing me. Five minutes of intense pain then gone, all of a sudden. And just as I though it was finished it'd come right back. I was just curled up on the sofa unable to move, mum got me a hot water bottle to see if it would help and eventually I made it upstairs so I could go to bed.
It's mainly when I wake till about late afternoon that I feel at my worst, the heart races, head is so bad, sickness is high, I feel so 'fuzzy' as I like to put it and even though I can't always sleep, just no energy to do anything either.
I know that if I start to be sick I need to ring hospital as they can admit me for fluids etc to keep me hydrated but I really don't want that :(

On Saturday mum and I have a cocktail masterclass and lunch in Harvey Nichols in London - it's a present I got her for her birthday in July and I just cannot change it so I'm stopping the meds for a morning so we're able to go :) then as soon as we're back home I'm starting them up again.

So for now I'm just doing what I've been doing all week, either lazing in bed for the morning and then moving downstairs to the sofa to relax whilst having breaks to just walk around the house to stretch my legs. My chest is starting to join in on the action now too so I'm hoping it doesn't pipe up too much! Otherwise I will be having to ring hospital for a stay in..
I wish I could just sleep all the time as when I'm asleep I don't feel so ill.
Have a lovely rest of the week xx


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